I DO NOT LIKE GUAVAS

 92 total views

One day a couple invited me to say Mass at the house of a very sick uncle who was completely bedridden. I agreed to go and coordinate with them to be fetched at the EDSA Shrine. They had their 5-year-old son in tow when they came to fetch me.

We passed some side streets near Banawe, and I chanced upon a simple makeshift stand that had very large guavas with leaves still on them. I exclaimed, “Look, Martin look at those guavas!” Martin must have seen how wide-eyed I had gotten about the guavas. So he asked me, “Do you like guavas a lot, Father? Is that your favorite?” I felt slightly embarrassed. I felt I had to tell the child the truth even though he may not believe me precisely because of my enthusiasm about the guavas. I answered, “No, Martin, I do not like guavas.” Just as I thought, he was surprised to hear that answer. Disappointed, he said, You do not like guavas, so why did you get excited about seeing them?” I said, “Well, I thought you might like the sight of really big guavas.”

Now it was my turn. “Do you like guavas, Martin? What is your favorite fruit?” He shrugged his shoulders. Seemingly afraid to make a mistake, he turned to his mother and said, “Do I have a favorite fruit, Mama? Is it like yours, Mama? What is your favorite?”

Interestingly, the mother answered, “You, you are my favorite, Martin!”

I gave such a loud and amused chuckle that Martin seemed contented with leaving the discussion alone on that note. He beamed with pride as he was told he was his Mama’s favorite. Of course, I found out later that Martin was not an only child. There were six children in the family: He must have been overwhelmed by the fact that he was chosen among his four brothers and sister and considered the favorite. He now could not care less about the guavas or any fruit for that matter. So I thought…

We could very well think it was unfair for the parents to say that to the boy. Imagine if he went home and bragged about his newly found status and place in his mother’s heart, then the other children would cry, “Foul!” “Unfair!”

Honestly, though, is there such a thing as treating everyone equally? We hope to hear a resounding “YES!” Is that realistic? We complain when our parents give our siblings more attention or material gifts than we do to them. People complain when others are not treated like everybody else -” in the same way.” Is treating everybody in the same way a sign of virtue?

Treating everybody in the same way, is not a sign of virtue. Even St. Paul says he did not treat everybody the same way. To the Jews, he was a Jew; to the Gentiles, he was a Gentile; to the weak, he became weak. Paul adjusted himself according to the need of the person he was dealing with. His goal was to bring others to Christ. In being flexible and sensitive to the needs of those around him, St. Paul actually became another Christ for the people.

Christ did that too. He did not treat everybody in the same way. To the teachers and doctors of the law, He spoke using their legal and technical language. He did not speak with a firm assertion to the sinful woman but with great compassion and kindness. His goal was to bring the love of the Father to all. He was sensitive to the needs of those He had to address.

To treat everybody in precisely the same way is far from virtue. It speaks of inflexibility and rigidity. It betrays a certain amount of closed-mindedness and myopia. To treat everybody exactly the same way is not fair but is a gross injustice. Each one is unique and, therefore, must be treated according to the need, background, upbringing, and situation. Is that being prejudiced? I do not think so. Treating everybody exactly the same way is a sign of prejudice to one way of acting to the detriment of the others.

Sensitivity to the needs of others is a greater sign of compassion and love. To be more flexible and willing to adjust ourselves so that more people can be accommodated is a sign of Christlike loving.

“Guess what? Martin spoke up after a few minutes of silence, probably figuring out if he liked guavas. Then he said almost playfully, “Father, why don’t you like guavas? They taste good. I like them but do not know if they are my favorite.” I gave him a nice pat, held him close, and said, “You know Martin, God loves us so much that He made us all different. He knew that each of us would have a different favorite fruit. So He gave us so many different kinds of fruits. Some are sour, like santol and pineapple. Some are sweet, like atis. I do not like guavas because they are not sweet, but they are also not sour. God made a special fruit for every one of us. Just like He gave each one of us a special gift, He gave each fruit a special taste. It is okay if you like guavas and I do not like guavas. To God, we are all special. By God’s definition, we are all His favorite because He treats each one differently but special.”

At this point, Martin seemed to have wanted some assurance from me, and so he asked, “Father, do you think I am Mama’s real favorite? Or Ate and Kuya is the one? With full confidence, I said, “I believe you are your Mama’s favorite. Why, don’t you think she treats you special?” He smiled contentedly.

I DO NOT LIKE GUAVAS
Jesus Our Light

WHO IS TO BLAME?

 48 total views

The “Chicken and the Egg” issue is as old as our first parents. What came first, nobody really knows. The important thing is that both of them benefit man, and by themselves, neither of them is asking or fighting for top billing.

Who is to blame when people have different opinions, and the fight flares up and is blown out of proportion? Is it a question merely of who started it or who continued the fight or argument? Sometimes, we have such a strong obsession and preoccupation with being right. So we do not want to let go of the argument until it is unanimously decided that we are right. Is it more important to be right and considered the show’s star than to keep loving relationships? What good will it do us if we come out the winners in the argument and make the whole company of employees or the whole community feel like losers?

Wherever the argument or whatever it may be about, the bottom line is always: pride. The thinking most often is: “How could he have done that to me? How could he have said that about me?” Now, if the offended party is bent on proving to all that he is right and has been wronged, he will devise all the ways to try and put the other one down. The original hurt or issue may already be a thing of the past, yet he will refuse to let it go until “everybody” knows he is right. The price to pay for being right is quite high. Many people suffer unnecessarily.

That is why I love children. Children fight and argue. They scream and then don’t speak to each other. They probably also try to drive home the point and insist their point of view is right, but after a while, they know from their sixth sense that things are just not right. Most likely, then, the following day, the warring camps are talking to each other. Often, it is as simple as a forgive-and-forget philosophy. Their simplicity dictates that it is more important to “be friends again” than to be right.

Indeed it is very easy to keep a rift going. It is so easy for adults to carry the resentment through the years. It takes some effort for the humble one to say, “Come on, enough of this. Let us stop continuing this cold shoulder treatment and move ahead again as friends” This sounds so simple and childlike, but I see it in the children, and it works.

Instead of wasting energy trying to keep the fight going by adding fuel, the call of the hour is to stop the fight. I have seen it too many times when group members feed each other with more information to incriminate the so-called “enemy.” They confer with each other and buzz each other like ants, but instead of passing on food for the soul, they pass on more and more stories and information against one another. “Nakita mo ang, ginawa niya? Alam mo ba ang sinabi niya?” and so on and so forth. The “fight” continues. Pretty soon, nobody knows who started it. Nobody knows what the real issues are in the first place. Even if we want to point an accusing finger at the one who started it all, it really does not matter if someone did start it (because it has to be so; otherwise, there is no fight), the fight only becomes a full-blown one when somebody else continues it.

It is also not enough for one party to say, “Okay, I’ll keep quiet and stop all this nonsense.” “Then what? Nothing is resolved. It is all pent-up resentment. But if either party says, “Okay, we have to move on in love. We have to be friends again.” Then now, we are talking business. Like the children, there should be no room for indifference. It is such hypocrisy that I see this happening so much, even in our communities in the Church. People hear the same Mass and recite the same prayers, yet when it comes to the sign of peace, they deliberately avoid eye contact with the one they dislike. God said before you bring your gifts to the altar, make peace with your brother first. I cannot understand why some people seem dumb and deaf to this message. Could it be because they believe they are right? Is their stance correct, and the other is wrong? Does it matter who is right? Does it matter if the other one is really to blame? If the other person is really at fault, the other person is really the big sinner. Does it make the one unwilling to make peace right by thinking he is right, good, noble, and well-intentioned? Could not pride be ruling that person’s behavior? Could not self-righteousness be the hindrance to peace? How can anyone take the Body of Christ with a clear conscience, knowing fully well that he does not just hate the sin of the sinner he hates? He hates the person supposedly committing the sin according to the “right” and “correct” one.

Am I so happy that I am not God? I know for a fact that I can judge neither of the warring parties. All I can do is pray that the one who refuses to forgive may be forgiven by God and receive the graces He so readily gives all those willing to love. I try to do my best to patch all these differences. I just hope that one day God will not blame me for not trying hard enough. I want to promise Him that I will continue to work for peace. I will continue to look at the ones who refuse to look at their own faults as lovingly as God looks upon all of us.

WHO IS TO BLAME?
Jesus Our Light

POWER IS PATIENT AND HUMBLE

 29 total views

Power could be dangerous. People in power can do so much for the good or the bad. This thought came to me in such a simple way. I was once sitting in a chapel listening to a lecture. My attention was drawn toward two boys, brothers, maybe. I say “maybe” because they did not look alike. Judging from how they behaved, though, I could safely say they are brothers.

The smaller of the two kept sticking his tongue out at, the older one. When the younger one came close to his older sibling, he made funny faces at him and threw some punches. The older one’s hands were being held by the mother as if deliberately restraining him. Well, before long, the elder one managed a flying kick. It was significant that the elder one did not show signs of impatience or grave irritation. I was amazed and, at the same time, pleasantly surprised that the elder boy looked quite detached. The younger one got wise and decided to stay away but continued to stick out his tongue. He got on his knees, pretending to roar at his brother like a lion from a distance. Then I caught myself. I caught myself getting caught in their quarrel. Of course, guiltily, I closed my eyes to compose myself and bring myself back to the lecture to which I was supposed to be fully attentive.

I took this little incident home with me that evening. As I pondered on it more, I realized that, objectively, the elder one had so much control. Just observing the size and age of the elder boy reveals that he clearly had power over his brother: I thought that if they were not in Church, the elder one could have grabbed the younger one by the neck, wrestled with him till he fell to the ground and given him left and right punches. Also, by keeping “his distance,” he had the power and the control because the little one was tiring himself out while he was standing calmly with the benefit of being held by his mother.

Nevertheless, it is easy to see who has the physical power in a relationship such as this. It is easy to tell who will win should a match of strength occur. I guess it was pretty much like that with the unbalanced match of David and Goliath. Everyone thought it was a sure win for Goliath. Nobody ever thinks a small and seemingly weak opponent can grab the win. The same is true between warring nations. During the time of conquerors and dynasties, the idea was to make one’s domain big and powerful. Big and mighty is powerful; if physical power is used, it seems to yield even more power.

We are speaking of physical power. The one that conquers the most for himself is powerful. The one that gives the most blows and knocks out the opponent is powerful. What, then, is all this power for? Is it for self-aggrandizement? Then what?

If a bigger child wants to win against a smaller one, it could be the easiest thing on earth. If a wealthy nation wants control over a poorer nation, that too is easy. All that needs to be done is violence—physical violence or violence by violating human rights, negating privileges, and a total disregard for the individual.

Now if our goal is peace, harmony, prosperity, happiness for the greater majority, and the just distribution of wealth and opportunities, significant ingredients are patience and humility.

The elder boy was patient. He did not make the little one get the better of him. He was humble enough to take all that aggression and resist the temptation to fight his brother back in a fistfight or a word war. Thanks to the mother also, the fight did not ensue. But as I said, this boy was really understanding and patient. Not once did he show grave irritation, and I want to give him credit for that. The flying kick seemed like a tease.

We cannot say the same thing for ourselves. We certainly would swat a spider or an ant even if they do us no immediate harm. It is so easy for hospitals and other institutions to turn away the poor because they do not have the capacity to pay and no peso power. I could go on and on.

Then I think of this great wonderful mighty, and powerful God who is patient and merciful. How many times have we wronged Him? How many times have we stuck our tongues out at Him when we disobey His commandments? Yet He never wields His power on us. He does not give us what we truly deserve. If He did, we would have the same fate as the ants, spiders, or even cockroaches under someone’s foot.

God’s definition of power is not conquering us and tying us down like slaves so we can be fully subservient to Him. His power is manifested in His gentle and humble love for us. By loving us in spite of our weaknesses, He enables us to pick ourselves up from the heavy blows life gives us with renewed strength and confidence in the power of His love.

POWER IS PATIENT AND HUMBLE
Jesus Our Light

POWER IS PATIENT AND HUMBLE

 115 total views

Power could be dangerous. People in power can do so much for the good or the bad. This thought came to me in such a simple way. I was once sitting in a chapel listening to a lecture. My attention was drawn toward two boys, brothers, maybe. I say “maybe” because they did not look alike. Judging from how they behaved, though, I could safely say they are brothers.

The smaller of the two kept sticking his tongue out at, the older one. When the younger one came close to his older sibling, he made funny faces at him and threw some punches. The older one’s hands were being held by the mother as if deliberately restraining him. Well, before long, the elder one managed a flying kick. It was significant that the elder one did not show signs of impatience or grave irritation. I was amazed and, at the same time, pleasantly surprised that the elder boy looked quite detached. The younger one got wise and decided to stay away but continued to stick out his tongue. He got on his knees, pretending to roar at his brother like a lion from a distance. Then I caught myself. I caught myself getting caught in their quarrel. Of course, guiltily, I closed my eyes to compose myself and bring myself back to the lecture to which I was supposed to be fully attentive.

I took this little incident home with me that evening. As I pondered on it more, I realized that, objectively, the elder one had so much control. Just observing the size and age of the elder boy reveals that he clearly had power over his brother: I thought that if they were not in Church, the elder one could have grabbed the younger one by the neck, wrestled with him till he fell to the ground and given him left and right punches. Also, by keeping “his distance,” he had the power and the control because the little one was tiring himself out while he was standing calmly with the benefit of being held by his mother.

Nevertheless, it is easy to see who has the physical power in a relationship such as this. It is easy to tell who will win should a match of strength occur. I guess it was pretty much like that with the unbalanced match of David and Goliath. Everyone thought it was a sure win for Goliath. Nobody ever thinks a small and seemingly weak opponent can grab the win. The same is true between warring nations. During the time of conquerors and dynasties, the idea was to make one’s domain big and powerful. Big and mighty is powerful; if physical power is used, it seems to yield even more power.

We are speaking of physical power. The one that conquers the most for himself is powerful. The one that gives the most blows and knocks out the opponent is powerful. What, then, is all this power for? Is it for self-aggrandizement? Then what?

If a bigger child wants to win against a smaller one, it could be the easiest thing on earth. If a wealthy nation wants control over a poorer nation, that too is easy. All that needs to be done is violence—physical violence or violence by violating human rights, negating privileges, and a total disregard for the individual.

Now if our goal is peace, harmony, prosperity, happiness for the greater majority, and the just distribution of wealth and opportunities, significant ingredients are patience and humility.

The elder boy was patient. He did not make the little one get the better of him. He was humble enough to take all that aggression and resist the temptation to fight his brother back in a fistfight or a word war. Thanks to the mother also, the fight did not ensue. But as I said, this boy was really understanding and patient. Not once did he show grave irritation, and I want to give him credit for that. The flying kick seemed like a tease.

We cannot say the same thing for ourselves. We certainly would swat a spider or an ant even if they do us no immediate harm. It is so easy for hospitals and other institutions to turn away the poor because they do not have the capacity to pay and no peso power. I could go on and on.

Then I think of this great wonderful mighty, and powerful God who is patient and merciful. How many times have we wronged Him? How many times have we stuck our tongues out at Him when we disobey His commandments? Yet He never wields His power on us. He does not give us what we truly deserve. If He did, we would have the same fate as the ants, spiders, or even cockroaches under someone’s foot.

God’s definition of power is not conquering us and tying us down like slaves so we can be fully subservient to Him. His power is manifested in His gentle and humble love for us. By loving us in spite of our weaknesses, He enables us to pick ourselves up from the heavy blows life gives us with renewed strength and confidence in the power of His love.

POWER IS PATIENT AND HUMBLE
Jesus Our Light

PROGRAMMING

 333 total views

“Huwag kang iiyak, kasalanan mo iyan.” I once overheard a ten-year-old girl, small for her age but sounding like a real adult. She was speaking to her little sister, who looked like she was about four years old. Then the ten-year old started threatening the little one with, “Sige kung umiyak ka, iwanan kita”.

I could not help but recall the many times I have heard this comment uttered by adults to their whining children. I have often wondered why parents use such threatening words and do not mean them. This ten-year-old was repeating something she had been programmed to respond to all these years. I am sure she has begun to understand that these words should not be taken at face value. They are meant to be empty threats. They are intended to elicit the reaction the adults want of the child.

When we want people to learn a concept, a word, or a habit, we repeat it as often as possible, especially with children. The more it is repeated, the easier and quicker it is learned.

Psychologists have proven that when children are allowed free play and exposed to a similar environment as that of a home, they begin to act out and repeat most of the lines they hear from all the significant adults in their lives. So if we are to record their dialogue or monologue, we will hear “adult lines” and adult conversations – several decibels higher.

It did not take too long for the four-year-old to stop crying. Why she stopped, I guess, I will never really be sure. Did she stop because she was afraid to be left behind or because it was time to stop? After all, she got the attention she wanted?

Funny, but one of my little peeves when I officiate at weddings is when I ask the bride, “Are you ready to give yourself to him as his wife?” And the bride answers, “I do!” When I ask, “Are you ready to raise as good Christians the children God will give you? The answer is again, “I do!” The answer to these questions is either “Yes, Father” or “I am” to the former and “Yes, we are” to the latter, not “I do!”

This is what I mean by programming. Almost everyone knows the most awaited answer at a wedding ceremony is: “I do.” They no longer listen to the question and automatically answer “I do” to any question in the marriage rite. I sometimes wonder if that has any bearing on their awareness of the covenant they are sealing in marriage.

In our spiritual lives, we hear the same scripture readings repeatedly shifted around throughout the years. If we truly pay attention, we should know all these scripture readings by heart. Yet, it seems we often hear some Biblical stories for the first time. We sometimes await the punch line: “The Word of the Lord.” so we can respond by saying, “Thanks be to God” or “Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.” We understand or listen to the Word of God only when the priest giving the homily explains it in more practical everyday language. Silently, we say, “Ah ganoon pala iyon.” Or if we ask our neighbor what the reading was about, more often than not, our neighbor can’t recall. Even if he heard it less than one minute before our asking. How many of us hear without listening? How many of us are programmed to switch to another channel called daydreaming when the Lector proclaims the scripture readings in Church? Then switch back only when we hear our cue words: “The Word of the Lord.” Is that the way our minds are programmed?

Is it more like we are so used to hearing the exact words that we hear it like a song but never reflect on what the lyrics of the song mean?

Is that why many of the lessons of Christian living that Christ has been drumming into our heads have been left unlived? We are not listening. We are beginning to act like programmed robots. Whatever is repeated more often or acted out more often is what we remember the most. Gospel values are for Sundays only. They should not be bothered with the rest of the week.

Even going back to thatat comment “Huwag kang liyak, kasalanan mo iyan.” What does that statement mean? Crying is reserved only for expressing someone else’s culpability or liability in our pained lives. We cannot cry if we have caused ourselves pain. We can only cry if someone else hurts us?!

Pain is pain. We all make mistakes, and oftentimes mistakes do hurt. The most natural way of expressing pain is with tears–by crying. Whoever inflicted the pain does not matter. The fact remains that we are hurt, and crying helps alleviate that pain somehow. Are we then programmed to react to crying in certain situations as non-acceptable? Do we hear the outward signs of the crying, or do we hear that the person is hurting, whether the pain is self-inflicted or not?

We ought to be careful when we are about to utter some words that sound familiar. Are we merely parroting something we have learned to say but not fully comprehended?

Maybe that is why some of us do not take God seriously when He says, “Love one another as I have loved you.” First of all, do we really believe, and I mean really and truly believe, that God loves each of us individually, or do we think this statement is addressed to everybody else except ourselves? Do we take God seriously, or do we think He is just trying to appease, pacify or console us in some empty way? I genuinely hope not.

The good news is God means everything He has ever said. This message is universal and forever. He said it once, and He says it repeatedly, depending on our need at the moment we need it. The language or the mode of expression varies. We must work on believing it fully. He does not repeat lessons to program us. He repeats it often, never like the last time, but it carries the same message. “I love you. You are mine. Whether or not you cause yourself so much pain as you tend to do, whether you are convinced of this love and try to tell other people about it because I said so and not because of conviction. I will continue to love you. And if it means for me to vary the ways of telling you this to be the point that you feel that I have abandoned you and you are in such deep pain, let me assure you I have not. I will never abandon you. I want to make sure you get the message without my sounding like I am merely programming a computer.”

This is God speaking. He will not stop until we listen and are convinced, not programmed.

PROGRAMMING
Jesus Our Light

KNOCKOUT

 99 total views

I was very disturbed when I picked up the newspaper the other day with the picture of Tyson and Seldon in the ring. Tyson knocked out Seldon after just 109 seconds from when the fight began. According to the news, the people in the stadium were screaming, “Fixed! Fixed!” As Seldon exited, they accompanied him with resounding “Boos.” Poor Seldon. He was physically or technically knocked out, and the crowd, it seemed, was making sure that his ego was just as plastered.

It is disgusting to think that while there are so many groups fighting for human rights and there are thousands, maybe even hundreds of thousands, cases in the courts pending resolution for cases of violence of all forms yet, here we have millions of dollars invested in a sport that entails two grown, very fit and strong men trying to outdo each other and punching each other to death if need be. This fight is telecast all over the world. People actually pay good money; advertisers grab slots to this show just so they are assured of wide exposure for their products. So many people watch this phenomenon.

Imagine two men bang each other to a state of disability for all the world to see who is the strongest one, the one with greater stamina or guts, or anything else that will prove machismo. Isn’t that a little primitive? Or is it barbaric? Isn’t that so base?

For some peculiar reason, we seem to enjoy watching fights. Little boys are fascinated by how spiders try to trap each other to death with their intricate webs. Then bets are placed in small denominations. Then the little boys grow up to be big boys, and they shift to fighting cocks with big money at stake. Even the seemingly innocent game that is famous among children, which is: trying to target house lizards or “butiki” has for its objective showing who is the strongest and the best at the lizard’s expense. The object of the game is the child who throws the least number of paper pellets or pebbles at bull’s eye level wins. What did the lizard do to deserve this kind of treatment? Why must we make the lizard or anything else suffer so we can enjoy ourselves, laugh, or get rich in the process? Why must people often prove their strength or greatness at someone’s expense? Why must there be losers for others to emerge as winners?

Can’t we all be winners? In our conversations, can we not find the positive in people and talk about this rather Than discuss someone else’s mistakes, faults, and failures most of the time? Do we have to see someone hurt and suffer from such a stripped persona to prove that we are better, stronger, and correct? Must we insist on dragging down someone who is obviously already hurt from a mistake they committed? Why do we like to watch bloodshed? Why do we go and buy tickets to see a violent movie? Why can’t more movies with good moral values or significant human experiences that are devoid of sex and violence ever become box-office hits?

Everyday, we tell our arguing, hair-pulling children to stop fighting. Yet they see us watch violence in the movies we watch at home or in the movie houses. They see us glued to our IV screens when boxing bouts are on. They hear us enumerate the annoying things or the abuses of the neighbor again.

We might even be quick to say: “That is different!” Is it really? Does it not all boil down to the same thing: I must destroy to prove my worth, my strength?

Who still believes in strength lying in gentleness? What child will listen to you when you say to him: “Don’t hit back. Jesus never did. Do not own guns. Jesus never did.” How will the child laugh interiorly at anyone who said this? Nobody will want to take punches without punching back. And if we are smart, we must punch the opponent ’til he runs away or gives up. The hero is the one who stays standing and is hardly bruised after the fight. The fight’s winner and many others will cheer the winner on while the other party, the apparent loser, crawls out in shame With possibly an ego scarred for life. And a desire for vengeance that could even be more deadly.

Where, then, does the great fool Jesus Christ fit in? He was fool enough to take all the blows without complaint. He is the one who was spat at, stripped naked, scourged, and finally nailed to the cross so that we will see precisely how ugly sin is. Looking at Jesus on the cross is more than enough proof that violence is to be abhorred and shunned. All the way though, He had nothing but compassion for His persecutors. All the way till the end, He spoke gently of forgiveness and love. If He is really our hero, is it not His example that we are to follow? Is it not His gentle compassion that we have to emulate?

When will we stop getting in that boxing arena and pulling all the punches at a hurt opponent? All of us are hurt and hurting creatures precisely because of all the boxing bouts we have fought. When will we stop taking delight in someone else’s problem or misery and participate in it as we would be in a cockfight? When will we stop blaming others for sins in this world? When will we stop throwing the punches or just being there to cheer for the boxers?

There is but one solution: the evil has to die in us, in each of us. If each of us held our tongue when something wrong was said about another, then that punch would not be thrown. If we walk away when gossip begins, that is walking away from the cockfight. If we could do all this, then our children would believe us when we cry out, “Stop fighting!”

More and more people should be totally knocked out and floored by extreme kindness, patience, and tolerance. The good that we do should momentarily paralyze others with awe. When they get up from the floor, they can not help but exclaim, “I have never known a man so strong in his gentleness. If he can do it, so can I!”

I’ll bet on that!

KNOCKOUT
Jesus Our Light

TAMPO

 36 total views

I sat at dinner once in the home of very good friends. It was a casual dinner. No trimmings. No special food. Just being with each other. I was enjoying myself listening to the children’s requests for help with their respective homework. What got the whole family’s attention, though, was the homework of the family’s teenager. He was tasked to write a love letter to an unknown object of affection in Filipino. It seemed like an interesting assignment for someone who visibly was not yet that interested in girls. When his father, mother, and I were having fun trying to put our two cents worth into this letter, we were all jolted by the younger boy, pretty much in his preadolescent stage himself, who was passively seeking some help for the autobiography, which he had to come up with. Unfortunately, we had some laughs from putting this love letter together that the younger boy was somehow overshadowed. He was not going to take this too quietly. So, he made sure we knew how he felt by withdrawing from the discussion but remaining seated at the far end of the table with his head bowed down. He made his angry presence felt by occasionally stomping his feet. The atmosphere was very strained, of course. We all seemed at a loss on how to handle him. It was not a tantrum, as we all know a full-blown tantrum to be. There was no kicking, screaming, or big movements. He was passively aggressive. In fact, no direct English translation is suited to describe this state. The best word for it is “tampo.” It is not sulking either because not much talking was done. Though you could call it that more and less, but not quite.

I was told by a Guatemalan Religious Sister many years back that she only observed this reaction among Filipinos. It frustrated her no end because sometimes she did not have a clear idea why some other sisters in the same congregation were simply not paying attention to her but were banging things around. They refused even to make eye contact. How she preferred it if they just spoke up regarding their hurts or resentment toward her and the other parties involved. She felt she was the object of indifference because there was a previous incident with another sister that did not seem resolved. So the next day, she sees the sister concerned make “tampo.”

What goes on in “tampo?” Why does it seem so peculiar to Filipinos? Why is it so difficult for Filipinos to confront another person with his ill feelings in the most loving way? I have to underscore “in the most loving way.” Letting out our ill feelings can be abused too. We could very well unload all our anger at someone without meaning to resolve anything or help the other person or the relationship. It could be a self-serving exercise. An ego booster. This does not count. Ill feelings that need to be expressed have to be done in a fair exchange, in dialogue. The objective of the dialogue is to restore a relationship or to strengthen its bonds. A monologue of words or insults hurled at another cannot strengthen friendships. It will just widen the gap and deepen the hurts. It does not help to solve any problem. It creates new ones.

So here we are, badly hurt by someone at home. Do we make sure our “aggressor” knows how badly we feel by banging on the room door or forcefully pulling our clothes out of the closet? No. No more silent treatment. No more “tampo.”

Let us try it this way. Let us look for a nice, quiet time and place to discuss what really happened. Then, before we start insulting the other person, let us try to look into our feelings. Once we get in touch with these feelings, we express them in an “I” statement. Meaning we own the feeling. We do not start throwing things at the other person and enumerate as the wrong things the person has done Mus. We express how we feel about a specific behavior. No harsh judgments. No jumping to conclusions. Simply, “I feel disappointed whenever you come home late for dinner, especially because I prepared dinner for you. I was eagerly waiting for you.” How can anyone be on the defensive and want an all-out war with such a sincere “I” statement? At least this way, we make ourselves clear. People are not left in the dark about what really happened. People understand what statement or action it was that sparked hurt feelings. As is the case with “tampo,” sometimes, the one that hurts us is not even aware of what they did. They know something is wrong when they get the silent treatment or when “tampo” comes into the picture. Let us put a handle on the situation. Let us call the ill feeling by name. Take responsibility and express the feeling lovingly. It takes practice.

TAMPO
Jesus Our Light

LET’S GET ORGANIZED

 113 total views

In my growing up years, my years in the seminary, and even now as a priest, I do not recall sharing a room with a particular person for an extended period of time. Perhaps, one or two nights while on retreat or during an outing.

My experience of not living with someone closely could be a deterrent to my not fully understanding the plight of some of my married counsellees, who come to me sometimes in tears because of the aggravation they feel toward their spouses who do “odd” things in the room they share. There are cases of unclosed drawers in which one spouse runs into the dark and consequently gets all bruised up. There is a case of slippers and three pairs of shoes for every occasion lying around the bedroom floor as if it were part of the floor design. Complaints about a spouse leaving clothes on the floor like a trail with whatever came off first at the beginning of the trail and the last thing out at the end of the trail. My list is endless. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that some of them sound like they are at their wits’ end and ready to give up.

Sometimes, they come to me asking for my assistance with the annulment of their marriage, or they are seriously contemplating separation. I feel like scratching my head in wonder. I think, “Do you honestly believe that those petty flaws are reason enough to dissolve a marriage for good?” Of course, I do not say this aloud, but I am really left amazed and baffled. I wonder what would happen if the issues at stake are wife beating or money matters, which are far more serious than closets left ajar and the like.

I pondered awhile and realized that, on a grander scale, it is indeed tear-jerking and horrifying! They really are not that petty. Repeated often enough and for extended periods of time, these behavior patterns can really be trying. Following the same line of thinking, imagine how many fights could be left on in public or private offices and toilets. How many faucets, broken pipes, and water hydrants could be left leaking on main roads and small tributaries? Count the number of men who use the walls of various establishments as their private toilets. We do not discount all the jeepney drivers and pedestrians who blow their noses and discard their mucous or sputum on our streets.

Why all these seemingly petty negligences? They seem like small offenses not worth anyone’s tears and frayed nerves but multiply it by at least 7 million adult dwellers of Manila alone. What are the consequences of a hundred people’s neglectful behavior on the rest of the population in terms of basic necessities and health? The figures could be staggering!

Could it be that while these “forgetful” citizens were young, nobody ever told them that “There is a right time and place for everything and that everything should be put back where you got it and finally that everyone needs to clean up his own mess? And yes, do not mess around with other people’s property.

This deserves serious thought. If we allow our young children to get away with leaving candy wrappers scattered around the living room or books left strewn all over the floor, when do you think they will learn to be responsible and clean up their own mess? When do you think Will they learn to study in their assigned corners? Psychologists say that once the child reaches the age of seven, most of his habits are already in place. How do we undo so many bad habits at 30 when these men and women become leaders, bosses, executives, or even your children’s “yayas” and your indispensable cooks?

Our rivers are dead or dying because people do not know the right place for garbage. We have not even organized our garbage collection and disposal problem. If this were in place, then people would certainly cooperate. “We are the only country in the world where a sign reads in Filipino, ‘Bawal umihi dito.” Must this be explicitly told?

When were we taught that street walls are not toilets? Who will enforce this rule? Obviously, the men who use walls as urinals did not learn their good hygiene practices at home. Why? Is it because no one bothered? Is it too petty? On the other hand, have we addressed the need for clean public toilets so that precisely this practice will stop?

If there is no order in something as basic as this, how can there be order in other areas of our lives? If all we worry about is consumption and a good time, who will clean up after ourselves, and what do we do with the accumulated mess? Why do we always think the helpers will pick up after us, or the Metro Aide, or the government should take care of that?

So let us get organized here. Let us clean up!

LET’S GET ORGANIZED
Jesus Our Light

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FILTH?

 132 total views

I woke up one morning with a sore throat. It felt like I had swallowed some sandpaper, the coarsest one. Then, I started getting tense and apprehensive because it was Saturday morning, and I had the weekend ahead. For priests, weekends are hectic, to say the least. I got up from bed and made sure I took a full glass of water, hoping, of course, that this would help ease the pain in my throat. Luckily, it prompted some mucous secretions to find their way out. I do not mean to be so graphic, but there were streaks of black in my mucous. I knew then that this was my body’s reaction to the smog building up in the atmosphere, which was now in my respiratory system.

I was reminded of when I was riding with a family in their car. They were bringing me back to the EDSA Shrine. While driving along the highway across the ADB building, their young girl asked, “Daddy, what is that?” She was pointing at some pollution meters they set up along EDSA to measure the pollution level in the city. The measuring device looked pathetic. It was so dirty, and you probably know it: it was not working.

The meter could take it no longer. There was just too much smog. Now it stands there like a monument to remind everyone: this is how dirty our air is. It is more carbon monoxide than oxygen. I was standing there, feeling something like that broken-down pollution meter, as if I was about to conk out myself.

Tsk, Tsk, Tsk, we exclaim! It is nice to blame all the buses, trucks, and smoke-belching vehicles that ply that route. Easy to point that accusing finger. Yet, if we think about it, pollution is not solely confined to air pollution. There is noise pollution, pollution of our waters, and pollution because of uncollected garbage left heaped on our streets. There is even the pollution of our minds fed with all these ideas of violence, tax evasion stories, hostage dramas, drug abuse, abortion, easy way to riches stories, rampant cheating, getting around the rules, and a whole long list of news that invade our homes through the television, newspaper and the radio.

Our water tells us through the red tide that enough garbage has been thrown into it. A presumably innocent citizen has a bite of the contaminated shellfish, and down goes his system. Are you sure that that presumably innocent victim has never littered the streets from his jeepney window? Has he not spat phlegm as he was walking the streets? Are you sure he is not a very rich Filipino who, instead of complying with the unified traffic scheme and trying to carpool, has bought a new car so as not to get inconvenienced? There goes one more car to pollute our atmosphere. There goes one more car to consume more fuel, to take up more space in the streets. One more car that will not help ease up traffic. And so on and so forth.

We cannot wash our hands completely. We must be realistic and find out how we contribute to all of these ways of preventing us from “clean” living.

For instance, while we are studying or working, must we keep the television or radio on even if we are not actively watching or listening? Imagine, if we multiply the amount of power generated and consumed by the number of people who do keep the TV or radio on “for company,” we could probably gather enough megawatts to give electrical power to a whole barrio in the province. Another benefit is there will be fewer people with frayed nerves because, like the meter or even the weighing scale, which can only take so much, man has his limits too.

The human body is capable of much more, perhaps, but it is finite, too, and definitely has its limits. The body has no definite or exact gauge to tell us that it has had enough.

We will not hear any warning bells to notify us that we must stop. One day we can’t concentrate, and we can’t remember things. We start feeling extreme fatigue or get extra cranky. All these are signs of stress. Warnings that tell us that the body is probably accumulating too much rubbish. We cannot keep all these “toxins” inside us. There must be a way out.

Things that have value cannot be ignored. If they mean much to us, we guard them with our lives. We devote time to their care. If the air we breathe means anything to us, we must fight for this cause. We must fight to keep it clean. It is not enough that we do not smoke, our cars do not smoke belch, and we do not throw things off our car windows or into the Pasig River. It is not enough that we know how to dispose of our garbage. The fact remains that there is a problem. There is a problem even with the television shows and movies we watch. We cannot keep shrugging our shoulders when violent themes are often shown on our TV and movie screens. We cannot take it sitting down.

If we are doing anything actively to fight the problem on a big scale, maybe our little efforts will go to waste. Maybe just maybe. Are you willing to leave it to chance? You only have one life to live. How about all those people you love? They have only one life, too, and maybe you have the key to a better, cleaner, more wholesome one.

WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FILTH?
Jesus Our Light

COMMUNICATION BLOCKS

 349 total views

What do you do with somebody who dislikes talking to you? What do you do with somebody you do not like to talk to? It is not difficult to see ourselves in situations like these. We are human beings. We are not angels who can make things work simply by willing and thinking. Neither are we computers that can produce the correct output by pressing a button. Experience shows that there are indeed people we do not like to be with, to talk to, to be seated with, to be seen with, for many varied and apparently valid reasons.

When we see them around, and when they see us around, we can ride on so many excuses. “I have a migraine.” “I am busy.” “I have another dinner invitation.”

When we cannot help being in the same place as them, we can choose to look in the direction opposite where they are, even if that would mean having to look at a blank wall or search for cobwebs in the ceiling.

I am sure that the Lord, being truly human, also had to face situations when He had to talk to somebody who did not like Him or talk to somebody to whom He was not supposed to talk. The incident that stands out in my mind now is His personal exchange with the Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well.

Jesus, the Jew, should not talk to a Samaritan. The Samaritans are abominable, disgusting to be with, and with whom it is dangerous to be associated. The woman, a Samaritan, considered the Jews self-righteous, prejudiced, and elitist. They should not talk to each other. Prevailing norms and customs could be their defense. Jesus reached out to her not simply for the sake of being counter-cultural. It was not for the sake of being revolutionary that He did that.

Jesus wanted to offer life to the woman. He had something beautiful to offer this Samaritan. He did not start by telling her that she needed Him; instead, He began by saying He needed her. That appeal broke the ice and softened the Samaritan’s heart. Jesus started by recognizing His thirst humbly. He was in need. The woman had the capacity to fill up that need. Jesus put the woman on a level higher than Him.

If you want to talk to somebody who does not like to speak to you, start humbly by acknowledging your need for the other. A peace offering like a gift, flower, or dinner would not be necessary. What is needed is a humble appeal that you can meet what I need, and only you can do it for me.

Jesus did that. He did not allow the hurts of the past, the prejudices, and the differences to stand in the way of communication. There is no use letting the past hurts and the resulting prejudices to rule our lives.

What do you do with somebody who does not like you? Talk to God about that person. Talk to that person as God did.

Sometimes, the communication block can be on us in relation to God. We turn timid and hesitant. We censor our prayers. When we become bold and daring in our relationship with God, we have nothing to lose but everything to gain.

We have nothing to lose and everything to gain when we become bold in our prayers and our relationship with Jesus.

What do I mean?

When we pray, we sometimes act like the Board of Censors. We censor our prayers and say, “This must not be included in our prayers. This is unscientific, unnatural, ridiculous, and violates rules, policies, and principles. What is the use of praying? Don’t bother God about this anymore.”

What do we do? We no longer ask God to help us on matters that we think are silly and ridiculous.

Let us look into our prayers. Could it not be true that you pray to God only for the petitions that can be granted? We present our petitions to God but only pray for what may be “realistic.” We do not talk to God about impossible cases because those are ridiculous cases, as far as we are concerned.

There is no such thing as a ridiculous case before God because all things are possible with God. Let us try to be bold. Let us attempt to be daring. WE have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

Let us talk to God like His children. Let us talk to one another. Let us talk again.

COMMUNICATION BLOCKS
Jesus Our Light

COPING WITH FAILURE

 55 total views

In a few days, we will be seeing and attending school graduations again. A great majority of our students will receive diplomas and certificates attesting to the completion of their academic studies. Elementary graduates will go to high school; high school graduates will choose their college or vocational courses.

I graduated four times from school: the first one from the public grade school in our hometown; the second one from a Dominican school; the third one from a philosophy course in the seminary; and the last from our postgraduate course from the same seminary.

My most memorable one was my graduation from college. My classmates and I knew that this graduation was only an entry point to four more years of studies in theology. We were twenty in the class. My classmates had a consensus. I will proceed to theology certainly. I was the most qualified. I thought so too. I was mistaken. Nine were admitted to the theology department. I was not one of them. The rector told me to pack my things and consider the lay state. He said I was too stubborn and I had my own unbending mindset. Under stress, I would push for my opinion, inconsiderate of others. Emotionally, I was immature. Intellectually, I was conceited. I could almost hear it: “EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH YOU!” It was devastating. It was humbling. It turned out to be cleansing.

I pleaded for a re-evaluation. I begged the rector to give me another chance. I could not trust myself anymore.! I knew I was not qualified. If I could get admitted, it would be by the graciousness of God, not my own. The seminary priests did not seem concerned enough. I went to the Carmelites to pray for me. I felt like I was in limbo for the two months of the summer vacation. I was afraid. I was hurting; I was helpless. I was insecure. I felt that everybody was ganging up on me.

In my helplessness, God answered. The rector took the sole responsibility of admitting me for the next school year. God is good. The rector was good. I did not deserve the reconsideration. It was an undeserved gift.

What lessons did that experience teach me?

First of all, it is God who is in control, not me. We are called not by men but by God. It is God who has the power. All is grace. No one is loved by God because of personal holiness or personal goodness. God loves us because He loves Himself. Indeed, is there anything good that we have that we did not receive from God? It is indeed humbling to know that no one is really worthy. Only God can make us less unworthy.

I also discovered the beauty and power of prayers again. It was a prayer in nothingness, from nothingness. The Carmelites taught me how to be nothing when I pray. When the faith is much, you will also receive much. We receive from God as much as we expect.

Lastly, I also began to recognize the fact that no one loves and serves God alone. We serve and love God always with the community. I saw how my parents suffered quietly with me. I felt the love and concern of my friends, who all knew how I wanted to be a priest. I could not have carried the Pain, the hurt, and the devastation of that denial without the help of my friends and co-seminarians. Nothing happens without God willing it. Now I look back to that college graduation with a grateful smile, healed and made whole by the grace of God.

COPING WITH FAILURE
Jesus Our Light

GAMES OF VIOLENCE

 55 total views

There have been some occasions in my priesthood when I was called to bless the body of a young boy who fell victim to a bullet in his father’s gun. Please note that the gun belonged to the father, but the boy pulled the trigger and did violence to himself. Nothing saddens me more than a young life lost because of an accident that may have been avoided. Why was there a gun in that home in the first place? Why must people keep weapons of war in a home that is supposed to embody and uphold life and love? What are we scared of? Against what are we defending ourselves? Why can’t we rely on our armed forces and the police force to defend us against aggressors or trespassers? Have we become afraid and mistrusting of the very people who are supposed to protect us? What has the world come to?

In the wake of the bombings occurring in our Catholic churches in the south, I cannot help but ask questions. I sincerely and desperately hope I have the answers. Maybe it is not even important who did it. Perhaps what bothers me most is why it was done at all.

One evening as I sat at a dinner party, I overheard a gentle Chinese mestizo bragging to his neighbors at the table that his dad was the gentlest man he had ever known. He claimed his dad neither raised his voice nor struck anyone in anger. He continued by saying that his dad owned every type of gun there was in the market. As a boy, he had recollections of his father encouraging him to take a serious look at his guns. He said his father repeatedly offered him any gun he wanted. I did not mean to eavesdrop, but as I sat there overhearing this conversation, I could not help but notice that this young man was himself very gentle in his ways. I did not hear whether he ever accepted his dad’s offer for a gun, but the thought that kept flashing in my mind was, why would a gentle, reputedly non-violent man keep violent, deadly weapons in his closet? Why did he encourage his son to keep a gun as well? If one had something in his closet, doesn’t it presuppose that he either uses it or will use it someday? Is it really a sign of genuine gentleness and kindness to keep an object that has no other purpose but to destroy?

I know of a gentle lady who was held up by armed men in the early 1970s in Cavite. She was with her 25-year-old son and two daughters, aged 10 and 6. The men with faces all covered forced them out of the car with powerful armalites. Her daughters, now grown-up, recall more, not the fear they had for these men but the love of their mother. She kept them close to her body and repeatedly mumbled her prayers to the merciful Lord for protection. She repeated to her children to do the same. She urged the bandits to please get all they wanted – car and all-but to please not harm her little girls. That was truly a powerful message to these girls on the value of human life as opposed to objects. That was a clear message on the strength and power of prayer as opposed to high-powered guns.

Perhaps that is what most gentle people want for themselves. They want an assurance somewhere, even just in their closets, that they have power and strength, they can draw from someday at a time when it is most needed. They have a need to feel protected by a force stronger than them.

Unfortunately, their security lies in an object that can fail them. Their security lies in a thing that can even be used against them. If we were all to believe in the infinite goodness of God and develop such a wonderful and powerful relationship with HIM, how can we ever think that we need a gun or a grenade at home? God’s power and protection never fail, and they certainly can never be used against us. God’s power does not destroy. It gives spirit and life. Guns can’t move mountains. Prayers can!

To those of you who have guns in your closets, may I ask you, how sure are you that it will not be your little boy or little girl who will get to your gun first? After all, have we not encouraged them with our unspoken reasoning: kill or be killed mentality?

“‘What do you think you tell your child when you buy him a toy gun? “It is alright, son. It is only a game. Bang! Bang! Getting killed and killing is only a game.” Is it really? Do you honestly believe this? By having that gun at home, whose life are you really protecting? Maybe if you got rid of your gun, the life you may save might be your own. Maybe instead of preparing yourself for a time when evil will be done unto you, it is best to expend your energies trying to let evil die in you. It may be as simple as getting rid of that gun in your closet. Or better still, it could mean stop buying your children, nephews, and brothers war toys. It only has one message: killing is a game. It is not permanent. Says who? What do you feed your children’s minds with? Is it violence, or is it gentleness? Do you teach him to clasp his hands in prayer or to walk around clasping a gun? Do you arm him with a prayerful lifestyle and a strong relationship with the Lord, or do you teach him constantly, “Anak, lumaban ka. Unahan mo an.”

Let us get rid of that violent mentality. Are the weapons you keep truly for your protection or for society’s destruction? Maybe instead of “Stickin’ them up”-throw them out–those bang-bangs! I hope you never have to bang your head against the wall in regret someday!

GAMES OF VIOLENCE
Jesus Our Light

REJECTION

 111 total views

A person once came to me for consultation, but before he had spoken about his problem, he began by saying, “Father, I do not think the “Golden Rule” works. I was slightly taken aback but tried not to show any reaction because I did not want to discourage him from continuing with his disclosure. (Incidentally, I have his permission to share his story). I was puzzled, though, because I did not know what he was trying to drive at. He continued by saying, “How can anybody know what I want to be done unto me? Imagine, he continues, if somebody who enjoys getting hurt should follow that rule, then can you imagine how much pain he will inflict on others?” I thought the conversation was getting a little philosophical, so in order to get down to essence, I asked him, “Has anyone hurt you?” It was that question that opened the doors for his real reason to see me. I understood from that conversation that this man did not want to get into any deep discussion with me on the golden rule. He was a man deeply hurt because he suffered what he perceived to be deep rejection. He was rejected by some people he had considered close associates, and he could not understand why.

Many people everyday go about their business or walk around the streets like open wounds. They conceal many of the hurts which they get from people who seemingly do not accept them or their ideas. They walk around flagellating themselves and saying quietly to themselves that they are worthless. Something they believe and which is sometimes reflected in their actions. Why do they think that? They perceive themselves to have been maltreated and rejected. This man explained to me how he tried to apply the Golden Rule with his officemates, and it did not seem to work. They seemed to be giving all his efforts a different meaning. It took a while for me to convince him that his officemates were acting out of a particular bias. They had some prejudice against him. I did not mean for him to leave me after the consultation feeling like a worthless victim, but I meant for him to understand that not all people take good intentions and kind gestures as the giver intends them. If the recipients of such good deeds are coming from a prejudice, nothing and perhaps no one can convince them of the worth of the giver’s ” good deed.” In fact, sometimes, the giver’s very presence can provoke them or make them see their own fault, staring them in the face, and they cannot handle that.

That is why oftentimes you hear the common complaint, “Hindi man lang ako binabati?” (The truth is the one who refuses amicable genuine dialogue has the bigger problem. He carries the weight of his resentment.)

It does sound like strange behavior for Christians. And if Christians were to truly follow the Golden Rule, there is no room for a rejection or snubbing of another Christian deliberately. Nobody who extends his hand in a handshake wants his hand to be completely ignored.

When you feel then that you are completely stuck in a situation where no amount of good work can convince a person who does not understand you to accept you, then it only calls for one thing: FORGIVE. “Forgive” is a word suggesting a letting go, a releasing, an action that has the power to soothe, to heal, to recreate. Of course, you will agree with me that it is easier said than done. Being wronged physically or abused psychologically creates such deep wounds. It seems simply human and normal to demand justice. It seems normal to want to give someone a resounding punch on the face than it is to give the other cheek.

I am not exempt from feeling unjustly treated sometimes. Yet I stop and ask myself why do I think I deserve better treatment than Jesus. He did nothing but heal the sick, feed the hungry, and preach about love, and yet what was the treatment He finally got? Rejection. False accusation. People whom he had cured, dined with, laughed with, and shared many precious moments with, even demanded His crucifixion. I do not think there is a situation more unjust than this one. Where did it come from? It came from a particular way of thinking and being of the Jews—a bias. Only prejudiced minds could have conceived a plan to destroy a man who did nothing but good. God could have wiped out every person on earth then as “sweet revenge” for His Son. But He did not. God’s mercy is boundless. He chose to be merciful. This is what the Golden Rule really is: “Love one another as I have loved you.” God’s love is merciful and forgiving. It is a love that chooses to forget all biases, prejudices, and preconceived ideas about people and events. God’s love takes you as you are now. He forgets your past sins, and to Him, there is no future but the hope that He will be a part of your tomorrow too.

Unbiased, unconditioned love is a love that says, “I can never know what is in a person’s heart when he does or says anything. Only God does. Therefore I will forgive. I will understand; I will accept this person.

The prefix “for” means ahead. I will give ahead. I will forgive. I will give understanding, love, and mercy. If we keep this disposition of soul, perhaps the smile and the warm handshake will not come so far behind.

The question did crop up, “Father are you telling me to be a fake? Lalabas akong plastic diyan.” Point taken. Even if the rule was changed to this: “Do unto others as you truly feel like doing unto others,” you will notice that if you are true to yourself and if you have been making a constant effort to have the mind and heart of Christ, then a punch on the other persons face and all the abuses hurled at that person will not make you feel good. Only a show of love and mercy will.

REJECTION
Jesus Our Light