Veritas PH

The WORD. The TRUTH.

How to fail in marriage

SHARE THE TRUTH

 4,958 total views

Quiet Storm by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II, 01 July 2024
Image from http://www.oodegr.com.

Many people today see marriage in the human level, downplaying or outrightly refusing its supernatural dimension being a gift and a grace from God. What is most funny with them is how they also insist on giving weddings some semblance of “spiritual” meanings with all the crazy symbolisms and dramatics conjured by some wedding planners that have prompted – rightly so – many parishes to impose strict rules and guidelines to stop all these follies that have robbed Matrimony of its holiness and sanctity.

We in the Church have never failed to remind couples getting married that more important than their weddings becoming Instagrammable is their spiritual preparation because marriage is a vocation, a call from God to a life of holiness for husband and wife to become Christ’s saving presence in the world.

Divorce has always been the easiest way out of many failed marriages even among God’s chosen people in the Old Testament, an attempt to free couples of moral responsibility and culpability in their failures they could not humbly admit. Jesus had explained and clarified it 2000 years ago and still, here we are insisting for divorce which is a symptom of pride, the first sin of Adam and Eve when they broke away from God. That is why, divorce is a breaking away from God too.

There are many ways to succeed in marriage but there is only one sure way to fail which is to turn away from God, to disregard God, to stop believing in God. Here now is a homily I shared two years ago at the wedding of a very good friend in my former parish in Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan.

Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel on the Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 03 January 2023.

My dearest Gracie and Chino:

Congratulations on this most joyous day of your lives. Finally, after much prayers and waiting, following so many detours in your lives, you are now before the altar of the Lord to exchange vows in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony.

I am sure you must have heard so many things on being successful and fruitful in marriage. In fact while praying over this homily since last year (yes, believe me), a lot of things have also come to my mind that I felt very important so you may grow and mature in your married life. But, as I prayed more, I realized lately that while there are many ways to be successful and fruitful in marriage, there is only one sure way in order to fail as husband and wife.

Disregard God.

Stop believing in God.

Live as if there is no God.

Do not pray. Do not celebrate the Sunday Mass.

Forget God. And you will surely fail in marriage.

Without God, Gracie and Chino, you cannot truly love each other because the only true love we must all imitate despite our weaknesses and imperfections is the love of Jesus Christ poured out on us there on the Cross. He said it so clearly today in our gospel, “This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. There is no greater love than to offer one’s life for a friend.”

Remember, Gracie and Chino, human love is always imperfect; only God can love us perfectly.

Here lies the great mystery and joy of human love, of marriage: God willed from the very start that man and woman be united in marriage. When His Son Jesus Christ came to the world, He not only reminded us of this wonderful plan of the Father for us but also elevated marriage into a sacrament, a sign of the saving presence of God.

In sharing His life with us, we are able to love like Jesus that is why He tells us too that it was Him who chose and called you, Gracie and Chino, not you who chose Him. God willed that on this day, Gracie and Chino that you get married. It was also part of His plan that you met during the COVID pandemic when we were locked down and when many weddings were either postponed or cancelled.

Very clear, Gracie and Chino, it was God who designed your marriage! Do not disregard Him. Invite Him daily into your lives in the same manner you invited Him on this day of your wedding.

Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel On The Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 08 February 2023.

Let me warn and remind you, Gracie and Chino, that a wedding nor a sacrament is not everything. Love is difficult because love is not just a feeling but a decision we renew daily. You must have heard how some couples ran out of love that eventually, they split up, separated and failed. When we have that deep faith, fervent hope and unceasing charity and love of God, you will never run out of love, Gracie and Chino, because God is love.

Keep that in mind. If you want to remain in love, love God. That is what marriage is all about: in loving your wife, your husband, you are actually expressing your love to God who is after all our very first love. That’s what Tobias realized when he married Sarah in our first reading. Tobias went to a far away land not only to look for a wife and a cure for his father Tobit’s blindness but also for God! When he found Sarah, he also found God.

Is it not the same thing happened with you, Chino, upon meeting Gracie? It was not love at first sight but more like the experience of Tobias when God revealed by silently speaking into your heart Gracie is the woman whom you shall marry. In a flash, you felt so certain about it, Chino, and despite your distance from each other, you felt this love growing deeper every day.

There is no perfect marriage, Gracie and Chino, but every couple is surely blessed by God. Cooperate with Him, do whatever He tells you as the Blessed Mother told the waiters in the wedding at Cana where Jesus transformed water into wine. Imagine, the first miracle by Jesus Christ was in a wedding just like this!

You know why? Because love is most truest when there is forgiveness and mercy. As I have told you, human love is imperfect, only God can love us perfectly. Without God, it is impossible for us to forgive and move on with life. Without God, it is impossible for us to say sorry and ask forgiveness too. It is God who gives us the grace to be sorry and to be merciful and forgiving like Him.

Photo by author, Don Bosco Chapel on the Hill, Bgy. Cahil, Calaca, Batangas, 08 February 2023.

When couples become hardened in their hearts as they keep tabs of each other’s sins and mistakes and misgivings, they get tired and fed up with each other and then separate.

With God, we are able to clean our slate, delete our memories and restart/refresh our programs like the computer to begin anew each day.

Without God, the festering anger within us gets worst and soon, everything crashes. That is when we fail because we do not have God as our foundation and root.

Try seeing it this way: human relationships are like two hands together.

Without God, they are like interlocking fingers where the partners are both so good, so bilib in themselves, filling each other’s needs that soon, they get filled with themselves. Like interlocking fingers that get painful, they eventually breakaway or separate from each other because love has become a demand than a gift, sex an obligation than an offering, with each one becoming more an object to be possessed than a person to be loved.

With God, human relationships are like two praying hands. Very flexible. You keep your identities and personalities intact, growing together, maturing together in love as you both create an empty space for each one’s shortcomings and most especially for God to have a place in your lives.

Like Tobit and Sarah in our first reading, pray always. Handle your lives with prayer, Gracie and Chino. The more you pray and believe in God, the more you will love Him, and the more you will believe each other too and hence, love more each other too! Keep God in your life as husband and wife. Whatever you do to each other, that you do first to Jesus who is always between you.

You see, Gracie and Chino, there are so many ways to be fruitful in marriage for as long as you are rooted in God. Take away God and you will surely fail as an individual and as a couple.

My prayer for you, Gracie and Chino is that today may be the least joyful day of your lives. Live in God through Jesus Christ with Mary our Mother. Amen.

Screenshot 2024-04-26 121114
ads
ads
2
3
4
previous arrow
next arrow

Veritas Editorial

Rev. Fr. Anton CT Pascual

Rev. Fr. Anton CT Pascual

President of Radio Veritas

‘Buwis-buhay’ para sa mga PWD

 15,915 total views

 15,915 total views Mga Kapanalig, nag-viral ang PWD ramp sa isang istasyon ng EDSA Busway sa Quezon City. Sa inauguration na ginawa ng Department of Transportation at Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (o MMDA), maraming nakapansing tila masyadong matarik at madulas ang bagong rampa  para mga persons with disability (o PWD). Batay sa Batas Pambansa (o BP)

Read More »

Saan aabot ang ₱20 milyon ng SONA?

 23,396 total views

 23,396 total views Mga Kapanalig, ngayon ang ikatlong State of the Nation Address (o SONA) ni Pangulong BBM. Bago ang araw na ito, naging usap-usapan ang inilaang 20 milyon pisong budget para sa okasyong ito. Ayon kay House Secretary-General Reginald Velasco, ang budget na ito ay gagamitin daw para sa mga sumusunod: pagkain at inumin ng

Read More »

Green Transport

 36,536 total views

 36,536 total views Kapanalig, marami ang nagpapasalamat ngayon na may opsyon na tayong maka-work from home. Ang public transport sa ating mga syudad ngayon ay lubhang malupit na, lalo para sa mga maralitang Pilipino. Dahil sa iba iba ang uri ng ating kabuhayan, marami pa rin sa atin ang no choice – kapit patalim, kapit tuko

Read More »

Inclusive Education

 42,509 total views

 42,509 total views Kapanalig, isa sa mga senyales na maganda ang kalidad ng edukasyon sa isang lipunan ay ang pagiging inclusive o mapagbilang nito – yung lahat ay may ready access kahit saan man siya nandoon, kahit ano pang kasarian niya, at kakayahan. Kasama dito, kapanalig, ang access ng mga vulnerable populations at disabled people. Kung

Read More »

Sports at Kabataan

 48,263 total views

 48,263 total views Kapanalig, katatapos lamang ng Palarong Pambansa – isang national activity, na sana’y lagi nating nabibigyan ng suporta. Malaking bagay ito, hindi lamang para sa mga kabataan, kundi para sa nation building at national pride. Kailangang manatiling malaki at mahalaga ang papel ng sports sa buhay ng kabataan sa sa ating bansa. Unang una,

Read More »
catholink
Shadow
truthshop
Shadow

Related Story

Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

Restore us, O Lord

 694 total views

 694 total views The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Tuesday in the Sixteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 23 July 2024 Micah 7:14-15, 18-20 <‘[[[[>< + ><]]]]’> Matthew 12:46-50 Photo by Ravi Kant on Pexels.com Restore us, O god our savior, and abandon your displeasure against

Read More »
Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

We are Mary Magdalene

 1,044 total views

 1,044 total views The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Monday, Feast of St. Mary Magdalene, 22 July 2024 Song of Songs 3:1-4 <*{{{{>< + ><}}}}*> John 20:1-2, 11-18 “The Appearance of Christ to Mary Magdalene” painting by Alexander Ivanov (1834-1836) at the Russian Museum, St. Petersburg,

Read More »
Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

Rest is to be close with Jesus, close with others

 1,317 total views

 1,317 total views The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Sixteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle B, 21 July 2024 Jeremiah 23:1-6 ><}}}}*> Ephesians 2:13-18 ><}}}}*> Mark 6:30-34 Photo by author, Katmon Nature Sanctuary &Beach Resort, Infanta, Quezon March 2023. After being sent “two by two” last Sunday, the

Read More »
Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

Put life in order

 1,753 total views

 1,753 total views The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Friday in the Fifteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 19 July 2024 Isaiah 38:1-6, 21-22, 7-8 <*((((>< + ><))))*> Matthew 12:1-8 Photo by author, somewhere in Bgy. Kaysuyo, Alfonso, Cavite, 27 April 2024. When Hezekiah was

Read More »
Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

God, our dew of light

 1,749 total views

 1,749 total views The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Thursday in the Fifteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 18 July 2024 Isaiah 26: 7-9, 12, 16-19 <‘[[[[>< + ><]]]]’> Matthew 11:28-30 Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com Your words today, O God, are so refreshing that I

Read More »
Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

God has the whole world in His hands

 2,322 total views

 2,322 total views The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Wednesday in the Fifteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 17 July 2024 Isaiah 10:5-7, 13-16 ><))))*> + ><))))*> + ><))))*> Matthew11:25-27 Photo by Dra. Mylene A. Santos, MD in Infanta, Quezon 2020. Praise and glory to

Read More »
Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

Firm faith, firm self

 2,661 total views

 2,661 total views The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Tuesday, Memorial of Our Lady of Mount Carmel, 16 July 2024 Isaiah 7:1-9 <*((((>< M+ ><))))*> Matthew 11:20-24 Photo by author, Holy Family Monastery of Our Lady of Carmel, Guiguinto, Bulacan 2019. Thank You, dear God our

Read More »
Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

“Bring me”…

 2,659 total views

 2,659 total views The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Monday, Memorial of St. Bonaventure, Doctor of the Church, 15 July 2024 Isaiah 1:10-17 <*((((>< + ><))))*> Matthew 10:34-11:1 Photo from The Valenzuela Times, 02 July 2024. On this blessed Monday, your word “bring” invites me to

Read More »
Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

Travelling in Christ, with Christ

 3,230 total views

 3,230 total views The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Fifteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle B, 14 July 2024 Amos 7:12-15 ><}}}*> Ephesians 1:3-24 ><}}}*> Mark 6:7-13 Photo by Jason Toevs on Pexels.com It is always easy to spot any flight back to Manila if you happen

Read More »
Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

Words, words, words…

 3,919 total views

 3,919 total views The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Friday in the Fourteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 12 July 2024 Hosea 14:2-10 <*[[[[><< + >><]]]]*> Matthew 10:16-23 Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com Thus says the Lord: Return, O Israel, to the Lord, your God; you

Read More »
Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

Our hands, a gospel in themselves

 5,707 total views

 5,707 total views The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Thursday, Memorial of St. Benedict, Abbott, 11 July 2024 Hosea 11:1-4, 8-9 <*[[[[>< + ><]]]]*> Matthew 10:7-15 Jesus said to his Apostles: “As you go, make this proclamation: ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ Cure the

Read More »
Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

First we learn, then we are sent

 4,627 total views

 4,627 total views The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Wednesday in the Fourteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 10 July 2024 Hosea 10:1-3, 7-8, 12 <*((((>< + ><))))*> Matthew 10:1-7 Photo by shy sol on Pexels.com Jesus summoned his Twelve disciples and gave them authority over unclean spirits

Read More »
Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

Abundant harvest?

 3,708 total views

 3,708 total views The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Tuesday in the Fourteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 09 July 2024 Hose 8:4-7, 11-13 ><))))*> + <*((((>< Matthew 9:32-38 Photo by Onnye on Pexels.com Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is abundant but the

Read More »
Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

Blessedness of desert

 3,957 total views

 3,957 total views The Lord Is My Chef Daily Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Monday in the Fourteenth Week of Ordinary Time, Year II, 08 July 2024 Hosea 2:16,17-18, 21-22 <*((((><< + >><))))*> Matthew 9:18-26 Photo by Walid Ahmad on Pexels.com Thus says the Lord: I will allure her; I will lead

Read More »
Latest Blog
Rev. Fr. Nicanor Lalog II

Our blessed failures

 4,935 total views

 4,935 total views The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe for the Soul by Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II Fourteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time, Cycle B, 07 July 2024 Ezekiel 2:2-5 ><}}}}*> 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 ><}}}}*> Mark 6:1-6 Photo by Mr. Gelo Carpio, Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan, January 2020. Last week’s readings clarified with us the

Read More »

Latest Blogs

Scroll to Top