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Homily for Friday of the 1st Wk of Lent, 03 Mar 2023, Mt 5,2-26
“Nagdilim ang paningin ko pagkarinig ko sa sinabi niya. Nang mahimasmasan ako, napatay ko na pala siya.” (My mind blacked out after hearing what he said. When I came to, I had killed him already.)
It is not unusual to hear lines like these from people who have committed murder, all because they had felt offended by some remarks made by the victim. This is one mystery I wish I can get to understand better about the human psyche, about the kind of things that can drive people to violence. They can be remarks that hurt the sensibilities and cause people to behave viciously or even murderously towards the one who uttered them.
Sometimes I wish I can have an FGD with a group of judges who have handled cases of murder that have been triggered by anger over a remark that had so offended them.
When I was a little boy, I remember being told by elders that whenever I found myself walking in a forested area, in a wasteland, or out in the bushes, I should make it a point to announce my presence to the spirits by saying, “Tabi-tabi po.” It’s our way of saying, “Dear unseen spirits, I am just passing through. You see me but I don’t see you. I am afraid I might step on you or cause you harm or injury without meaning to. If I do so, please forgive me. I am announcing my presence so that you can avoid me if I accidentally cross your path.”
Nowadays we tend to dismiss such customs as superstitious or as a sheer remnant of our pagan or animist culture. But there is actually something beautiful and something very humane about it. Namely, that we consciously avoid hurting any of our fellow creatures, visible or invisible, as we go our way.
If we can be sensitive and considerate to unseen creatures, how much more with fellow human beings? This seems to be the point that Jesus is making in today’s Gospel, in his commentary on the 5th commandment, “Thou shalt not kill.” If I may paraphrase it, what he’s saying is, “But I say to you, thou shalt avoid provoking people into violence.”
Sometimes I ask people to repeat what they heard from the Gospel, such as the line that Jesus said about offering one’s gifts. I say the first line and ask them to complete the sentence. Like, “If you bring your gifts to the altar and there remember…what?” That you have a grudge against somebody? Is that what Jesus said? Almost always, they say Yes. And I say no. They did not even notice that I turned the statement around. That it’s not about me bearing a grudge against another, but about another person bearing a grudge against me.
When I say this, I usually get reactions like, “What if I don’t even know? I may have caused offense without intending it. But how can I do anything if he does not tell me?” That’s our common excuse—“It’s not me; it’s he who has an issue.”
St Paul warns us about nursing anger in our hearts. In Eph 4,26, he says, “If you are angry, let it be without sin.” Anger itself is not a sin; but it can lead us to sin when we nurse it or brood over it. In Tagalog we call it “pagtatanim ng galit.” If you plant it, you have to be ready to reap its fruits.
One of its most common fruits is murder. And so Jesus is dealing with the fifth commandment about murder by addressing it from its root. That the violence that we can commit against our neighbor does not begin when we actually do it, but when we nurse anger in our hearts and minds. Is there anything we can do about it? Yes. Paul says, “Do not let it linger in your heart until sundown. Do not give the devil a chance to work on you today.” But more importantly, we must help those who might be languishing in the dark prison of anger and resentment.
One time I approached a friend who, I noticed, was avoiding me or could not even look into my eyes. I reached out and asked, “Are you angry with me?” It took a while before he could say it, but he was already in tears as he recalled something that I had said that deeply offended him because he felt that he was being alluded to. I said, “Oh no. I didn’t even have you in mind when I said that. I am so sorry if what I said had offended you.”
It was more than enough to liberate him from his resentment. Perhaps if I had ignored the signals and reasoned out, “I don’t care if he avoids me. What did I do anyway to deserve a cold shoulder?” That would have killed a good friendship all together.
