How Often Should We Forgive Vs. How Should We Forgive?

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The Lord Is My Chef Sunday Recipe, Week XXIV-A, 17 September 2017
Sirach 27:30-28:7//Romans 14:7-9//Matthew 18:21-35

Peter approached Jesus and asked him, “Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive? As many as seven times?”(Matt.18:21)

Peter’s question to Jesus more than 2000 years ago is still the same question we are asking not only the Lord but also ourselves and others today. It is a question that bears us down, stirring our inmost being especially when a loved one like a family member or a friend is the one who sins against us. Too often, I believe the question is asked out of love and concern along with exasperation due to the pain inflicted on us by the sinner. Will explain this later as we go into our gospel today where Jesus tells us through Peter that there can be no limit in forgiving others: “I say to you, not seven times but seventy-seven times.” (Mt.18:22)

Jesus continues His teachings today about the true essence of the Church. Last week He emphasized about love and charity in maintaining unity in the community. This Sunday, Jesus deepens that teaching by showing us that the best expression of love in the community is forgiveness, asking us to never get tired of forgiving one another. As an expression of love, forgiveness can never be measured nor quantified. It is a gift freely given by our merciful Father who sent us His only Son Jesus Christ to redeem us from our sins. St. Paul last week called on us to “Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another” and we find along this line of thought in Christ’s parable of the unforgiving servant today the concept of sin as debt to be paid back. We are that servant who accumulated a large amount of debts impossible to repay. And there is only one thing that we all owe God impossible to repay on our own account – love! It is love that God showers us with so much that we have always misused and abused in our sinfulness since the beginning with Adam and Eve. Whenever we sin, we refuse to love and that indebts us in love. The old English and Tagalog translations of Our Father specifically mention this, “forgive us our debts” and “patawarin Mo kami sa aming mga utang.” Sin is a debt of love we primarily owe God that we cannot “settle” on our own, impossible to repay like in the parable we have heard. That is why God sent His only Son Jesus Christ to “redeem” us (“tubos” in Filipino) on the Cross on Good Friday. Although we have been redeemed from this debt, we continue to sin due to our weakness that we need to ask forgiveness from God and others as well as forgive those who have sinned against us. Christ’s sacrifice on the Cross facilitated this for us, enabling us to come to God to ask for His mercy and forgiveness and most especially, to share that grace of mercy and forgiveness with our fellow sinners.

Here we find the question we must ask is not really how often must we forgive but how should we forgive? How can we be like God who is merciful and forgiving?

As I have mentioned at the start, when we ask “how often must I forgive,” it is a question still laden with love despite the pains of the sin inflicted on us by a brother or sister. When we ask “how often must I forgive”, we wonder if our forgiveness is helping the sinner to grow and mature or not. And why do we ask? Because we care! That is how great is the love of God given to us all in Christ’s dying on the Cross when His “ocean of mercy” flowed out for souls and upon us. That mercy and forgiveness are always in our hearts – the starting and end point of forgiving!

“His master summoned him (the unforgiving servant) and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you your entire debt because you begged me to. Should you not have had pity on your fellow servant, as I had pity on you?’ Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers until he should pay back the whole debt. So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives his brother from his heart.”(Mt.18:32-35)

In this parable, Jesus is inviting us to shift in our point of view about forgiveness: instead of using more our minds and intellect like Peter, counting how many times should he forgive, we bring it down into our hearts and start forgiveness from there. To forgive from the heart means to recognize the love amid the pain inflicted on us by a brother or sister. To forgive from the heart means not to let pain and evil overcome the imperfect love we have. It is easier said than done but we have to allow the grace of God to work in us. The fact we try quantifying forgiveness means we still have love left in our hearts. Do not let the mind take over the heart. Remember anew St. Paul’s call last Sunday to owe nothing to anyone except to love one another by going beyond the letters of the laws, beyond the technicalities of our relationships and focus instead on the persons. When we talk of persons, we mean of the hearts.

Sometimes I do not check my Facebook because most of the days all I find posted are wrath and anger against the widespread crime and corruption, not to mention the numerous rants of “friends” waging war on people only they know. The first reading reminds us that “Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight. Could anyone nourish anger against another and expect healing from the Lord?” (Sir.27: 30,28:3) One of the things I have learned in my six years in the Parish dealing with all kinds of people and hearing all their complaints against each other is to feel more from the heart than to think more from the mind. There are times that I find it reasonable to be mean against sinners or “bad people” I have encountered or reported to me but, when I pray and experience God’s mercy and love, I realized nothing would be achieved by being unforgiving.

This Sunday, try reading Psalm 133 that perfectly complements our topic of forgiveness in community life. It is very short with three verses only, singing the joy of living together as reconciled brothers and sisters in a community like “perfumed oil on the head that runs down into Aaron’s beard and clothing to the very hem.” To forgive from the heart means to be filled always with oil that lubricates our relationships with others; like in a motor, when there is no oil, overheat happens. When we refuse to forgive from the heart, we burn our ties, we burn our community, and eventually, we burn ourselves. Jesus Christ is our “oil” whose sacrifice on the Cross enabled us to forgive from the heart. Let us live in Him as St. Paul tells us today so we may see how all of us have been forgiven by our merciful Father to live together as community.

Fr. Nicanor F. Lalog II,
Parokya ni San Juan Apostol at Ebanghelista,
Gov. F. Halili Ave.,
Bagbaguin, Sta. Maria, Bulacan

Pagkakaibigan, mahalagang pundasyon ng sama-samang misyon sa pagpapalaganap ng ebanghelyo- Papal Nuncio sa mananampalataya

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Binigyang-diin ni Apostolic Nuncio to the Philippines Archbishop Charles John Brown na ang tunay na pagkakaibigan na nakaugat kay Hesukristo ang mahalagang pundasyon ng sama-samang misyon ng Simbahan sa pagpapalaganap ng Ebanghelyo.

Sa kanyang mensahe para sa 12th Philippine Conference on New Evangelization (PCNE XII), sinabi ng kinatawan ng Santo Papa sa Pilipinas na ang pagkakaibigan ay isa sa pinakadakilang kaloob ng Diyos sa tao, kasunod lamang ng mismong buhay, sapagkat ito ang nagpapatatag sa mga pamayanan at nagbibigay ng tunay na kagalakan at pag-asa.

Ipinaliwanag din ni Archbishop Brown na ang tunay na pagkakaibigan ay hindi nakabatay sa pakinabang o pansariling interes kundi sa kalayaan, kabutihang-loob, at tapat na pagmamahal sa kapwa.

“Friendship is truly one of life’s greatest treasures, next only to the gift of life itself. Even wealth without friends feels empty when compared to the joy of good friendship. Friendship strengthens communities and transforms ordinary connections into lasting happiness. Without it, life becomes incomplete and burdensome. This is not merely because we are social beings, but because friendship is a vital bond rooted in freedom, generosity, and goodwill. Friendship is more than duty or utility.” Bahagi ng pahayag ni Archbishop Brown.

Binigyang-diin din nito ang turo ni San Agustin na ang tunay na kaibigan ay nananatiling tapat sa anumang kalagayan ng buhay.

Ayon kay Archbishop Brown, ang pagkakaibigan ay higit pang nagiging ganap sa pananampalatayang Kristiyano sapagkat ito ay nagiging pakikipagkaisa kay Kristo na humahamon sa mga mananampalataya na sama-samang maglingkod, ipagtanggol ang pananampalataya, at pangalagaan ang pagkakaisa ng Simbahan.

“In our mission as Christians, friendship means communion in Christ. Together we strive for the faith, resist false teachings, and guard against discord,” Dagdag pa ni Archbishop Brown.

Ipinaalala rin ng kinatawan ng Santo Papa na ang sukdulang larawan ng pagkakaibigan ay ipinakita mismo ni Hesus sa pamamagitan ng Kanyang pag-aalay ng buhay para sa Kanyang mga kaibigan.

Kasabay nito ay binati ni Archbishop Brown si Manila Archbishop Jose Cardinal Advincula, ang mga obispo, pari, mga nakatalaga sa buhay-relihiyoso, layko, at lalo na ang mga kabataang kalahok sa kumperensya, at hinikayat ang lahat na patuloy na isabuhay ang diwa ng pagkakaibigang nagmumula kay Kristo bilang daan sa masiglang misyon ng ebanghelisasyon.

Isinagawa ang 12th Philippine Conference on New Evangelization (PCNE XII) noong Hulyo 24 hanggang 26, 2026 sa University of Santo Tomas sa Maynila na may temang “Sangkay: I Have Called You Friends” (Jn. 15:15), na naglalayong palalimin ang pakikipagkaibigan kay Hesus at paigtingin ang pakikibahagi ng bawat mananampalataya sa misyon ng Simbahan.

SONA ng Sambayanan 2026, isasabay sa SONA ni PBBM

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Iginiit ni Bishop Efraim Tendero, Global Ambassador ng World Evangelical Alliance, na layunin ng SONA ng Sambayanan 2026 na maiparating ang tunay na kalagayan at hinaing ng mamamayan kasabay ng ikalimang State of the Nation Address (SONA) ni Pangulong Ferdinand “Bongbong” Marcos Jr. sa Hulyo 27.

Ayon kay Tendero, ang SONA ng Sambayanan ay hindi isang pagkilos upang maghasik ng kaguluhan o pagkakahati-hati, kundi isang mapayapang pagkakataon upang marinig ang boses ng mga ordinaryong Pilipino mula sa iba’t ibang sektor at panig ng bansa.

“Ang SONA ng Sambayanan ay ang pagpapahayag ng mga tao para sa kanilang kalagayan, para sa kanilang pagnanasa, para sa kanilang kahilingan, para sa magandang kinabukasan ng ating bayan. Hindi ito panggulo, hindi ito pagkakahati-hati, kundi nagkakaisa tayo na ipahayag ang ating damdamin at ang tunay na kalagayan ng ating lipunan,” pahayag ni Tendero sa panayam ng Radyo Veritas.

Sinabi ng Evangelical Bishop na mahalagang mailahad ang kalagayan ng mga nasa kanayunan, mga maralitang pamilya, manggagawa, at iba pang sektor na patuloy na nakararanas ng kahirapan at kakulangan sa batayang serbisyo.

Aniya, ang panawagan ng SONA ng Sambayanan ay hindi lamang para sa Metro Manila kundi para sa lahat ng komunidad sa buong bansa.

Kasabay nito, hinimok ni Tendero ang mamamayan na samahan ng panalangin ang kanilang paninindigan upang gabayan ng Diyos ang mga namumuno at maisulong ang mabuting pamamahala.

“Lumapit tayo sa Diyos, manalangin, at hingin ang Kanyang gabay at patnubay upang ang mga namamahala sa atin ay gampanan ang kanilang tungkulin, masansala ang kasamaan, at mabigyang pagkilala ang gumagawa ng mabuti,” ani Tendero.

Binigyang-diin din ng opisyal ng World Evangelical Alliance na ang pamumuno at politika ay isang pananagutang nakatuon sa paglilingkod at hindi sa pansariling interes.

“Ang ating pamamahala at ang politika ay hindi hanapbuhay, ito ay nagbibigay-buhay. Ang ating panawagan ay mamuhay tayo nang may dangal, kaayusan, katarungan, at kapayapaan sa ating bayan, bunga ng pagkatakot sa Diyos at pagmamahal sa kapwa at sa Pilipinas,” dagdag ni Tendero.

Ang nakatakdang SONA ng Sambayanan ay pangununahan ng Inter-Religious Leaders’ Council for National Transformation (IRLCNT) at White Ribbon Movement (WRM).

Hindi sapat na bahagi lamang ng buhay ng tao si Hesus, kundi dapat siya ang sentro

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Hinimok ng Canadian theologian at co-founder ng Catholic Christian Outreach (CCO) na si André Regnier ang mga mananampalataya na huwag manatili sa kaalamang pangkaisipan si Hesus kundi magpasya ng personal na tugon ng pananampalataya sa pamamagitan ng paglalagay kay Kristo bilang sentro ng kanilang buhay.

Sa bahagi ng Prayer Pathways sa unang araw ng Philippine Conference on New Evangelization (PCNE XII), ipinaalala ni Regnier na bagama’t mahalagang maunawaan ang katauhan ni Hesus at ang Kanyang pagliligtas sa sangkatauhan ay hindi sapat ang paghanga o paniniwala mula sa malayo upang magkaroon ng tunay na ugnayan sa Panginoon.

“It is essential that we understand who Jesus is and what He has done for us. But knowing these truths intellectually is not enough. Simply believing them from a distance is not enough,” Bahagi ng pahayag ni Regnier.

Upang higit na maipaliwanag ang kahalagahan ng personal na pagtugon sa paanyaya ni Kristo, ibinahagi ni Regnier ang karanasan noong araw ng kanyang kasal kung saan hindi naging ganap ang kanilang tipan ng kanyang asawa hangga’t hindi nito naipapahayag ang salitang “I do” sa ilalim ng sakramento ng kasal.

Ayon kay Regnier, tulad ng pag-aasawa, nangangailangan din ng malayang pagtugon ang pakikipagkaibigan kay Hesus.

“Jesus has already offered us His friendship. The question is: Will we say yes?” Dagdag pa ni Regnier.

Hinamon din nito ang mga dumalo na suriin ang kanilang espirituwal na kalagayan sa pamamagitan ng pagtatanong kung si Hesus ba ay bahagi lamang ng kanilang buhay o tunay nang nasa pinakasentro nito.

“I’m not asking whether you’re a perfect Christian. I’m asking something much deeper. Where is Jesus in your life? Is He simply a part of your life? Or is He truly at the centre of your life?” Ayon pa kay Regnier.

Binigyang-diin din ni Regnier ang pahayag ni Pope Benedict XVI na nagsasabing walang mawawala sa sinumang magbubukas ng kanyang puso kay Kristo kundi sa halip ay matatanggap ang ganap na buhay.

“If we let Christ into our lives, He takes nothing away, and He gives you everything… Open wide the doors to Christ, and you will find true life,” pagbabahagi niya mula sa turo ng dating Santo Papa.

Kasunod nito ay inimbitahan ni Regnier ang mga kalahok na personal na ialay ang kanilang buhay sa Panginoon sa pamamagitan ng Prayer of Commitment, kung saan sama-samang idinalangin ang pagtanggap kay Hesus bilang Tagapagligtas at Panginoon ng kanilang buhay.

Nagtapos ang sesyon sa pamamagitan ng tahimik na panalangin at paghingi ng panibagong paggabay ng Espiritu Santo, habang paulit-ulit na inaanyayahan ang mga kalahok na manalangin ng, “Come, Holy Spirit,” bilang panawagan ng patuloy na pagbabagong-loob at mas malalim na pakikipagkaisa kay Kristo.

Isinasagawa ang Prayer Pathways bilang isa sa mga pangunahing espirituwal na gawain ng Philippine Conference on New Evangelization (PCNE XII) na naglalayong akayin ang mga mananampalataya tungo sa mas malalim na personal na pakikipagtagpo kay Hesukristo at panibagong sigla sa misyon ng ebanghelisasyon.

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